From Taylor Swift’s 22 lyrics “We’re happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way. It’s miserable and magical, oh yeah.” Right, it pretty sums up my twenties. It was magical and miserable at the same time. I was free, very confused, and lonely. It was not the best phase of my life, tbqh but I learned a lot from all the indecision and mistakes that I made during that time. And all those positive things I learned, I’m starting to carry into my thirties and beyond.

My twenties weren’t all that bad, but looking back, I guess I was so reluctant to grow up. I was desperately clinging to my younger and less responsible self. My mental state wasn’t at its best. Several checkups and one emergency room visit didn’t sound like fun. My parents were worried about me. I was just so confused, fearful, and a lot of times sad. I kept reminiscing about my youth, the comfortable place I was in, the friends I had, and the simplicity of my life before adulthood hit me in the face. I kept escaping. I tried to run away every chance I got. I set myself up for failure automatically. I limit myself to options that I think are easier and risk-free. Until I got tired of taking the easy way, and I reflected. I told myself I had enough. I have to face my fears. I took the first step. That’s why I accepted my thirties like it was no big deal. And unlike my juvenile self entering my twenties, I embraced my thirties and worked step by step on my shortcomings. And still working on that!

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me — Philippians 4:13 | NKJV

After I officially hit 3-0, I was eager for the change. I started to stop mentally limiting myself and what I wanted to do with my age. I realized that today is always the best time to start. I had a long chat with my mom and told her my plans. She wasn’t 100% onboard with it, but she respected my decisions. This is what I wanted to do. I had to try. Honestly, it was so hard not to procrastinate. It was even more difficult not to second-guess my skills. Am I enough? But after reading a lot of motivational stories, knowing the ups and downs are part of the process, and of course my faith that God will help me out, I’ve decided now’s the time. Regardless of the outcome, I will do it. Now, I always tell myself that I will never know until I do it, and God will lead the way. He’s the best GPS we have in life. And I always bear that in mind. And I think I’m improving mentally, emotionally, and even physically. I just have to trust God and myself. Life is always a work in progress. It takes courage, hard work, and unfailing faith—a concept that was so hard for me to understand before but now keeps me intact.

I feel like I finally got the adulting gear moving on. Finally! I’m not saying that I got it all together and I’m sailing smoothly, but now I guess I’m good, and I’m very grateful to God for the wisdom, the courage, and the opportunities. So what about reflections, nostalgia, and memories? They’re good. They were awesome, but that was in the past. I forgot that making brand new awesome memories is always there. And accepting my thirties does not mean I need to feel old to act mature. Age is a number, but aspiration should not stop when you deem someone not young enough. Dreaming, planning, and working toward them are acceptable at any age. So yes, I love my 30s, and I can still feel like I’m in my 20s. I still feel like 22 even at 32! I still keep dancing like I’m 22 in my 32!