They say when it rains, it pours—and it really does! ⛈️ I meant that literally and figuratively. The entire month of August was just rain. And no, not the cute drizzle rain like Forks in Twilight. I’m talking about the kind of rain that can submerge cities in a day. I could even peek through the fire exit of our building and see the flooding from the other street. I think I saw the sun shining for maybe 4 days total, only for the late afternoon to come around and the rain to start pouring again.

And then figuratively because wowzers, I sorta forgot this thing even existed, and now I’m suddenly anxious about how to move forward, reeling from everything as I weigh the consequences of my own neglect and the decisions I have to make now.

Life Lately

• Something I thought I had already dealt with. Turns out, not really. I stopped paying attention to it and just moved on. I guess, I thought it would stay quietly in the background if I ignored it long enough. Well, I was wrong. I left it to fester, and now it has come back to bite my fucking sorry ass. This month was especially rough, and after days of dealing with it, I finally knew I couldn’t keep brushing it off. Legit crestfallen about it. Neglect do have a way of catching up with you. 💨
• And now there’s a decision to make. NGL I thought this wasn’t something I had to think too much about. I kept things manageable, and for the most part, I was able to just go about my life. In my defense, I didn’t think it would eventually get to this point. I thought I could just keep dealing with it as it came. But nope, things have changed, and now I have to seriously consider my options. And streamlining it is just too much for my anxiety riddled body to take in. Added to that I really don’t want this thing taking over my birthday month. 🥲
• One step forward, two steps backward. For now, I’m doing my due diligence and keeping myself informed. It’s honestly overwhelming because there are so many different experiences and opinions, and sometimes the more I read, the more confused I become. I swing from no to yes then back again, completely unable to make up my mind. Again, it’s a lot to take in! There’s only much my mentally exhausted brain can absorb and handle! I know, I know, I need to decide eventually, but maybe I don’t have to figure everything right now.
• But at least I have a new (not really) kindle! Before all of this happened, I was obliviously browsing e-readers when it dawned on me that I don’t really need a brand new one. So I installed carousell and started searching for secondhand e-readers! And I saw this 10th Gen Kindle Paperwhite selling for dirt cheap! I immediately chatted with the seller and got it so fast. There’s some issues with it, but I don’t mind since I read on and off, and one book at a time. I don’t want to invest a lot of money in a gadget I may not even use regularly. So this is more than fine! Got me some real bargain!
• Sometimes you gotta try it yourself. I finished haikyuu! and really wanted to watch something I hadn’t seen before. While browsing netflix, I saw Tougen Anki, which I vaguely remember from the anime con we attended last April. The consensus was it was mediocre at best and just plain bad at worst. But you know what? It was actually good! It helped me get through a rough week because I had something to distract myself with. I liked the whole power system, the lore, and the art style. The characters aren’t as endearing, but they slowly grew on me. I also started reading Love Upset. It’s in the same vein as Melting Point and Dash, but I feel like LU had a more sincere treatment of the sport it features rather than using it mostly as embellishment for the romance and story. Something I really, really appreciate. I also just finished watching season 5 of The Floor. I loved playing along with the players! That biopics topic was *so* good.
• I was mostly indoors. Like I said earlier it mostly rained. Though we did need that rain as it helped refill our dams because last July, we were worried about them trickling slowly toward critical levels. We got that water but in extremely disastrous way! So if people once more deny climate change, I’m gonna slap them in the face! You don’t fuck around with mother nature!

September Agenda

• The decision. I really wanna put this at the back of my head for the meantime. The first night, I couldn’t even sleep because I kept thinking about it. All these scenarios kept playing in my head, just gassing up my anxiety box full tank! Anyway, I did make a list of things I want to ask and clarify before I make up my mind. But again, I’m still not 100% on board. I keep swinging between yes and no, and ugh, I really just don’t know yet. There’s a lot to consider, and I just want to give myself some time to sit with it. Oh bless my troubled heart, Lord.
• My brother’s birthday. They say the rain will still continue this September, but hopefully we’ll get better dinner weather to celebrate his birthday. Oh yeah, September officially starts of the holiday season here!
• Taking things one at a time. I honestly don’t know how to plan the month because it will definitely be influenced by the decision I have to make. But see, next month is my birthday month! And I’m about to unlock Level 4.0! and also my blog’s cake day bash! So I wanna prep as an over-planner girlie! But you know, life happened. 😮‍💨 So now, I’m derailing the revamp once again. I did receive a very cutesy illustrations I commissioned from a local artist for my blog redesign, but yeah, that’s gotta wait too. I just wanna slow down and think through a lot of things.

Gotta always remember that God has my back all the time! Praying for a healthy, jolly, and relaxing September for everyone! 🍵🧃🍎😶‍🌫️🍀

They say when it rains, it pours—and it really does! ⛈️ I meant that literally and figuratively. The entire month of August was just rain. And no, not the cute drizzle rain like Forks in Twilight. I’m talking about the kind of rain that can submerge cities in a day. I could even peek through the fire exit of our building and see the flooding from the other street. I think I saw the sun shining for maybe 4 days total, only for the late afternoon to come around and the rain to start pouring again.

And then figuratively because wowzers, I sorta forgot this thing even existed, and now I’m suddenly anxious about how to move forward, reeling from everything as I weigh the consequences of my own neglect and the decisions I have to make now.

Life Lately

• Something I thought I had already dealt with. Turns out, not really. I stopped paying attention to it and just moved on. I guess, I thought it would stay quietly in the background if I ignored it long enough. Well, I was wrong. I left it to fester, and now it has come back to bite my fucking sorry ass. This month was especially rough, and after days of dealing with it, I finally knew I couldn’t keep brushing it off. Legit crestfallen about it. Neglect do have a way of catching up with you. 💨
• And now there’s a decision to make. NGL I thought this wasn’t something I had to think too much about. I kept things manageable, and for the most part, I was able to just go about my life. In my defense, I didn’t think it would eventually get to this point. I thought I could just keep dealing with it as it came. But nope, things have changed, and now I have to seriously consider my options. And streamlining it is just too much for my anxiety riddled body to take in. Added to that I really don’t want this thing taking over my birthday month. 🥲
• One step forward, two steps backward. For now, I’m doing my due diligence and keeping myself informed. It’s honestly overwhelming because there are so many different experiences and opinions, and sometimes the more I read, the more confused I become. I swing from no to yes then back again, completely unable to make up my mind. Again, it’s a lot to take in! There’s only much my mentally exhausted brain can absorb and handle! I know, I know, I need to decide eventually, but maybe I don’t have to figure everything right now.
• But at least I have a new (not really) kindle! Before all of this happened, I was obliviously browsing e-readers when it dawned on me that I don’t really need a brand new one. So I installed carousell and started searching for secondhand e-readers! And I saw this 10th Gen Kindle Paperwhite selling for dirt cheap! I immediately chatted with the seller and got it so fast. There’s some issues with it, but I don’t mind since I read on and off, and one book at a time. I don’t want to invest a lot of money in a gadget I may not even use regularly. So this is more than fine! Got me some real bargain!
• Sometimes you gotta try it yourself. I finished haikyuu! and really wanted to watch something I hadn’t seen before. While browsing netflix, I saw Tougen Anki, which I vaguely remember from the anime con we attended last April. The consensus was it was mediocre at best and just plain bad at worst. But you know what? It was actually good! It helped me get through a rough week because I had something to distract myself with. I liked the whole power system, the lore, and the art style. The characters aren’t as endearing, but they slowly grew on me. I also started reading Love Upset. It’s in the same vein as Melting Point and Dash, but I feel like LU had a more sincere treatment of the sport it features rather than using it mostly as embellishment for the romance and story. Something I really, really appreciate. I also just finished watching season 5 of The Floor. I loved playing along with the players! That biopics topic was *so* good.
• I was mostly indoors. Like I said earlier it mostly rained. Though we did need that rain as it helped refill our dams because last July, we were worried about them trickling slowly toward critical levels. We got that water but in extremely disastrous way! So if people once more deny climate change, I’m gonna slap them in the face! You don’t fuck around with mother nature!

September Agenda

• The decision. I really wanna put this at the back of my head for the meantime. The first night, I couldn’t even sleep because I kept thinking about it. All these scenarios kept playing in my head, just gassing up my anxiety box full tank! Anyway, I did make a list of things I want to ask and clarify before I make up my mind. But again, I’m still not 100% on board. I keep swinging between yes and no, and ugh, I really just don’t know yet. There’s a lot to consider, and I just want to give myself some time to sit with it. Oh bless my troubled heart, Lord.
• My brother’s birthday. They say the rain will still continue this September, but hopefully we’ll get better dinner weather to celebrate his birthday. Oh yeah, September officially starts of the holiday season here!
• Taking things one at a time. I honestly don’t know how to plan the month because it will definitely be influenced by the decision I have to make. But see, next month is my birthday month! And I’m about to unlock Level 4.0! and also my blog’s cake day bash! So I wanna prep as an over-planner girlie! But you know, life happened. 😮‍💨 So now, I’m derailing the revamp once again. I did receive a very cutesy illustrations I commissioned from a local artist for my blog redesign, but yeah, that’s gotta wait too. I just wanna slow down and think through a lot of things.

Gotta always remember that God has my back all the time! Praying for a healthy, jolly, and relaxing September for everyone! 🍵🧃🍎😶‍🌫️🍀

The onslaught of short-form media really ruined my attention span. This is what I’m always trying to improve nowadays. I’m losing the value of patience—of sitting down and immersing. I want things fast and concise. I forget how grueling long processes can be but how they pay off, and how things that take time leave a more stronger memory and impression.

Sometimes I go back to my goodreads profile and read the reviews I wrote back in my 20s. I smile at the thought of how driven and passionate I was about reading books and even reviewing them. Not that I’m blaming the anime, manga, and webtoons I’ve been devouring since I stopped reading books, but nothing has captured me the same way Twilight once did. People may throw insults at it, but that was my gateway to reading. And almost a thousand books later (sans the graphic novels), I’m still forever grateful that one night I opened this book my sisters absolutely loved and ended up falling in love with reading myself.

So far I’ve finished one book this year: George Orwell’s Animal Farm. It was a quick read. I thought, since I love watching social commentaries and documentaries, this could be a good start. It was, but it also made me even angrier about what’s happening around me. Not gonna lie, my opinion sometimes is politically charged. I remember during my uni days and saw these passionate young activists in campus, and while I admired their desires for change, it never really lingered in my mind. I was ignorant of politics as long as life was treating me just fine. But when you become an adult, you realized how easily your life can be jeopardized by the very society you trust, so I thought social commentary books would become my go-to. But nope, they weren’t, because my real drive to read is to escape.

Escapism isn’t bad reason per se, especially when I read articles about the decline of reading, any reason is a good reason to read. So many people don’t do any kind of reading anymore and I don’t want to be part of that statistics. So I completely understand, support even, the encouragement to read anything. As in anything! I remember a librarian saying that reading fanfic is perfectly ok and I agree. Sure, more challenging literature may offer better benefits but I firmly believe that every kind of reading counts; be it a graphic novel, fanfiction, web novel, and anything else that pulls you away from this brainless short-form content and let you just…immersed. And think. Yes, think, as these days, our attention is constantly being pulled in every direction, in every second, not giving us a moment to mull over. So if these kind of reading materials are what keep someone reading, then that’s a great place to start.

I also think the best way to become a reader is to honestly enjoy reading. Once you find stories you love, you’ll naturally read more and soon enough you’ll begin to branch out and explore outside your comfort zone. So yeah, it has to start somewhere. That’s why I never discourage or judge people based on what they read. The important thing (for now) is that they read—truly read.

Yeah, like actually reading—every word, every description—everything. I was genuinely shocked when I found out there are people who only read the dialogues. Then I even heard of people complaining about “big words” and even accuse authors of being ableist for using them. But the worst thing I came across was fake reading! Apparently, there are now services that make your books look “well-read.” The fuck does that even mean? People actually pay to have their books annotated, sticky tabs on pages, even fake coffee stains. It’s honestly depressing. We’ve reached a point where everything has to be a performance instead of just being something you actually enjoy without an audience in mind.

Maybe that’s why I stick to my comfort reads and my comfort medium. People might look down on me for reading graphic novels all the time, but honestly, why should I care? I read because I enjoy it, and that’s enough for me. Sure, the expanded vocabulary and all the other benefits are great, but they’re not the reason I love reading. I read because I just simply love it. I love stories! I love characters! I love romance! I love fantasy. I love all things fiction! I love them all! It’s something I do every day, and every night I look forward to settling down and read.

Yes, I read every single day. You cannot catch me going to bed without reading something every night. That’s still my ultimate pastime. Since a lot of webtoons are adaptations of web novels, when my patience runs thin, I read the novel counterparts too. So yeah, my willingness to read full-on text isn’t gone. It is just, I guess, I haven’t found the right story for it. And that’s what I’ve been searching for all these years.

Reading itself has never really been the issue, but right now I just want to broaden my horizons again through reading a novel. Yes, a novel. A book. I want to read books again. And I’ve been trying—scouring goodreads for interesting summaries, looking at what people are reading, and just stacking up books I think I’ll love. As of writing this, I’m 60% through this book, and I’m really enjoying it. I’m optimistic that this will be the lucky start—that light at the end of this very long tunnel I’ve been trekking through for so many years now. I want my reading choices to be as diverse as possible!

As of writing this post, I just finished Dr. Stone and wow! Just wow! Another incredible anime I’m happy to complete!

I’ve always believed that there is a perfect time and mood for every story. Sometimes a series finds you exactly when you need it and for me this time was Dr. Stone. Thankfully, the entire series is complete, which made marathoning it such a satisfying experience.

I remember falling in love with Dr. Stone when the manga started in 2017. Science was always one of my favorite subjects as a student, especially biology and physics. There was always something fascinating about understanding how the world works. So when I saw a story about rebuilding human civilization from nothing through science, I was immediately hooked.

But as time passed, and one new (short-term) obsession came after another, my excitement sorta faded. I stopped reading around the beginning of the treasure island arc, which was also where I stopped watching the anime. But when my timeline was suddenly filled with people celebrating the anime’s ending, I knew I had to return. After finishing Kuroko no Basket, I knew the next series had to be Dr. Stone.

And honestly? The nostalgia hit me hard!

Watching Senku restart everything from absolute zero was such a surreal experience. The modern world had disappeared for 3,700 years, and nature had reclaimed everything we built. But beneath Senku’s rough personality and uncouth mouth (which sadly, the translation wasn’t able to fully capture), there was always this unwavering determination to bring modern civilization back—with zero exceptions!

Seeing him progress from creating his first fire to eventually launching a rocket toward the moon was absolutely incredible. What made it even better was seeing how a journey that began with Senku alone eventually became a massive ensemble of amazing characters who were also experts in their own fields, each contributing something essential to humanity’s revival.

Like I said, I didn’t continue reading the manga anymore. So watching the treasure island arc, where the source of petrification was introduced, was almost new to me. Seeing how they infiltrated the island, and how the rest of the kingdom of science crew had complete faith in Senku’s knowledge of science that they allowed themselves to be petrified just to test their hypothesis regarding the mechanics of the petri-beam/medusa—that was teamwork at its best!

What I love about Senku’s character is that he welcomes everyone. We know he’s an amazingly intelligent guy, but he also admits that he can’t do everything by himself. That’s why he admires Kaseki’s craftsmanship, and even Chrome’s ingenuity. Despite not knowing about 21st-century modern science, Chrome was still able to come up with ideas on his own. Senku acknowledges every kind of expertise.

It wasn’t all science, it has action, too! I was not prepared for the South America arc. The standoff between the crew and Stanley’s elite soldiers was intense, brutal even. When Chelsea understood what was going to happen, I almost got teary-eyed too. Knowing nothing about what was going to happen myself, I was at the edge of my seat wondering what would happen next!!! 😱

When they finally entrusted Suika with the revival, I was like, “they’re really gonna leave everything to this little girl?” But your girl was brave! It took her years, but seeing everyone finally unpetrified again was another favorite moment! I love the integrity of the story—that everyone can be a scientist (or Science user). Everyone can be an expert in something, and their expertise always has a place in the evolution of mankind.

Speaking of experts, I wasn’t too fond of Dr. Xeno and Stanley at first. Their bond, um, yeah, how do I describe it? It was heavily implied but remained ambiguous. Oh, not that I’m assigning meaning to it (or maybe I am? 😊), but they were close on a completely different level. While Senku had Taiju, Xeno and Stanley had this almost unwavering affection and devotion toward each other. Maybe I’m just reading too much into it. Admittedly, I love this kind of relationship where one person has absolute faith in another and is willing to protect them no matter what (like Hak to Yona).

And whether that was amorous or not, well, it’s up to our imaginations! But one thing’s for sure: Dr. Xeno will always view science with elegance, and he also has that same magnitude of faith and loyalty toward his equally elegant friend? partner? in Stanley.

It also dawned on me how Earth would survive without us. A lot of the things we built only remain because humanity exists and is able to preserve them. But nature is really the true dominion of the Earth. She can engulf everything and reclaim it should she want to.

Nothing but amazement at how Earth continues to live on its own, even without humans around. It will still prosper without us.

Pseudo-philosophical thoughts aside, while I was making my way through the last few episodes, I was feeling really emotional. Senku started by creating fire, building his lab, experimenting with how to make the revival fluid, befriending the small village of his father’s descendants, then creating the Kingdom of Science brick by brick, finding the Medusa, traveling across the world, petrifying the whole world once again, reviving one country at a time, launching the spaceship, and successfully booting why-man off the moon!

What a fucking absolute badass journey!!!

Gosh, when they were launching Senku 11, I was proud as fuck, because they went from almost nothing to launching a massive spacecraft. That was one huge leap from the stone age to modern science.

I just can’t help but think about the resilience and desire of humankind when we truly set our minds to something. While sometimes I lose faith in humanity, it’s undeniable that we have built incredible and marvelous things born from the human mind.

(Apologies for the long-ass post, this was my post-watch ramblings, raw and unfiltered! 🙈)

I’ve mentioned about this plenty of times, but lately I’ve been staying away from endless scrolling because I’ve realized how detrimental it is to my attention span. So I thought, why not channel my laziness into watching anime instead? At least it asks me to focus on something for longer than 5 minutes.

Before this I used to watch random vlogs but I stopped that, too.  Sure, they’re long, but they often feel directionless. They never really improved my attention span despite the length. A full vlog can still feel empty: nothing lingers, nothing stays with you. It is still something you need not to invest or imemrse.

I digress, some people would probably argue that anime is a juvenile way to spend your time. I don’t think so, because anime has plot. It has structure. It makes me think. Vlogs like travel vlogs, which I used to be so engrossed in don’t really do that for me anymore. Looking back, a lot of them feel overly externalized, all movement and spectacle. And honestly, my own drive to travel has faded a bit too. Real life gets chaotic, and sometimes you lose the spark to chase your own wanderlust and focus more on what’s right in front of you: the here and now.

Like I said, I’ve been watching a lot of anime but mostly rewatching. I’ve also been rereading books, manga, and webtoons from my stash (as seen in yearly reads so far). Yeah, just about anything to keep myself from endlessly scrolling. Because beyond ruining my attention span, scrolling makes me agitated and, again, directionless.

There’s something about immersing yourself in fiction (reading between the lines, remembering character names, noticing details) that moves your brain more than people realize. And I feel like in this time and age, we’re slowly losing our ability to stay still and be patient. We always want things instantly, like pronto! But back then, patience was part of how we consumed media. We sat through TV ads, waited for weekly episodes, waited for movies to come out (or wait a year or so before it officially premieres on TV/cable). We had to focus and take in things one by one, letting the details settle.

What also bothers me is how so much content online feels designed to rage-bait, to provoke and keep people angry. It’s honestly disheartening to witness how much media illiteracy is out there, too, and how many people seem unable to separate fiction from reality.

And that’s exactly what frustrates me: when that inability may eventually lead to censorship simply because some people can’t engage with fiction as fiction. What kind of cultural climate are we creating if fictional works constantly have to defend themselves against real-world moral standards?

I’ve spent years consuming fiction like series, books, films, and I’m still perfectly capable of distinguishing right from wrong, and fiction from reality. That’s the point. Fiction doesn’t erase discernment; if anything, it sharpens it. What makes me sad is that discussions around fiction now are so often flattened into moral judgments based on real-life standards, instead of being discussed within the context of the fictional world itself. Nuance gets lost. Everything becomes generalization, and honestly, I’m getting tired of seeing it.

As someone who grew up as an early internet adopter, I can’t help but feel how much the web has changed and not always for the better. I don’t like the direction it’s heading. We’re becoming more restless, more reactive, somehow less thoughtful, and sadly less intelligent.

I could say more, but I’ll stop here.

I read that even writing long-ish paragraphs feel harder now, which says a lot. That in itself feels like proof that something is shifting in how we think and engage. And ironically, it seems to be happening because we’ve let technology start taking more control over us than we ever intended.

Second (and last) part of my China (Shanghai) Travel Diaries. As I mentioned before, we had two important requirements, and one of them was a major theme park! It wouldn’t be a stretch to call it the main reason, ’cause my family loves them rides! And I must report that it was an enjoyable and memorable trip to Disneyland. (I know, I know, it’s a “paved paradise to put up a parking lot” situation, but sometimes we just need to have fun in an artificial fantasy land!)

My family and I really enjoyed our time there. We went ahead and rented cars (yes, two, ’cause we’re a family of nine!) and let me tell you, the Chinese are very keen on time. Some of my family members were five minutes late, and the drivers politely asked us not to be like that again. It was a bit embarrassing, but he was a pleasant man. During the whole car ride, our driver was, let’s just say, chatty and very fun. He even turned on the massage function of the seat and played some music (even though it was basically old Chinese pop).

We actually rented the cars just to take us there, so we still didn’t know how we’d get back to our hotel. When we mentioned it, he volunteered to pick us up again, and we were happy to oblige. We’re so grateful to him because he also arranged the other car for us. Like I said, the Chinese people we encountered were generally nice. I had good interactions with them.

We went on a day with perfect weather, 18°, slightly windy but with the sun shining brightly. It was a long walk from the parking lot to the actual entrance. I’m not sure if it was peak season or not, but the lines moved fast. Also, take note, you must bring your passport. Your passport is your ticket to Disneyland Shanghai. No QR code needed, just present your passport and they’ll scan it. Isn’t that amazing?

And just like HK Disneyland, I couldn’t stop gushing about how pretty the garden was. It’s hella larger than HK too. The main street was so wide. Actually, all the pavements were wide. I didn’t bump into anyone. I liked that there were lots of benches too, especially since this time our mom came with us. She didn’t try any rides outside of the boat ride and the castle, but she was happy just being with her children and all her grandchildren.

Also, the rides are spacious and extravagant. Because I’m prone to dizziness and have a fear of heights, I tend to avoid anything rollercoaster-y, but I tried my best to go on anything I felt comfortable with. My favorite ride was, hands down, Pirates of the Caribbean. I loved the feeling of drifting through the currents, and all the effects made it feel like we were roaring among the waves.

Unfortunately, I mistook Zootopia for something dizzy-inducing, but my fam said it was so cute and interactive. I wish I had ridden it. Then we went to calmer rides like the boat ride and Alice in Wonderland maze. I enjoyed Buzz Lightyear, Peter Pan, and Dumbo (thanks to my little nephew’s insistence after I passed up the chance to ride TRON). TRON was the biggest ride there. I didn’t even try, ’cause that’s not for me. My sister, though, lost her glasses on that ride and had to continue our trip squinting the whole time. I had to buy her a new pair as a birthday gift when we got home.

There were other rides too like Roaring Rapids and (forgot the name), which of course I declined to try.

The food was delish! Again, like I suggested in my other Shanghai post, skip GCash and install Alipay instead. We ate at a restaurant near the TRON area, and the burger was humongous! And really tasty too. I got the vegetarian one, and they didn’t skimp on the ingredients. The drinks were tall!

What I loved most, though, were the staff. They were genuinely friendly and warm. I appreciated this, especially since in HK Disneyland, the staff sometimes felt a bit distant. I’ve been to major theme parks around Asia like Universal Studios in Singapore and Japan as well as Legoland Malaysia. My general consensus? Shanghai staff were friendly. Well, USJ is like top-tier, no contest, but I would say the staff here were also very accommodating and kind.

We didn’t get to watch the fireworks and light show in the end because we promised to meet up at 9:30 p.m. sharp so the car could pick us up. And even though we missed it, I think we made the most of our time and enjoyed a lot of rides. Thankfully, the longest wait I had was just 40 minutes. The lines were long but moved fast, so it didn’t feel like forever.

I know people say you need two days, but I think our one day was pretty productive. We got to ride most of them, skipping the ones that are already in HK.

Overall, I had a happy experience. Between HK and Shanghai, I’d say I pretty much enjoyed Shanghai better. If the opportunity comes again, I’ll definitely visit again!

When I redesigned this space 5 years ago (5 years ago?! time sure did a speedrun), I thought about my schedule, the routine I’d built, and how I imagined my blogging habits would evolve. With that in mind, I designed this blog around what I thought my new style of blogging would be: short and simple.

Guess what?! I’m actually not built that way.😤

An outspoken person trapped in an introvert’s body. I have so many thoughts in my head, and I always want somewhere to dump them. The most convenient place has always been my own little corner of the internet. This blog. Sure, there’s social media but a blog is where the heart is. I feel free here because this space is mine, with my own rules.

I tried to follow the tl;dr mantra, but alas, I’m far too loquacious to restrict myself from speaking my mind. 🙊

In hindsight, I realized it was far more uncomfortable to limit what I wanted to say than to simply say it with no holds barred. I’m the type of person who has opinions on everything, and being such a recluse, I don’t really have anywhere else to healthily let those thoughts out besides my blog and my personal offline journal. With my anxiety, my mind is practically a beehive of thoughts that need an outlet, lest I start feeling suffocated.

Of course, I’m not all talk and completely unfiltered. I do filter my thoughts. I’m deliberate about what I want to say and how I should say it, but writing those thoughts down comes naturally to me.

While my parents probably consider my outspokenness one of my flaws—especially compared to my very reserved left-handed siblings (I just had to mention that trait, considering I’m also the sole right-handed, exact middle child—the third of 5 children)—I’ve always been the one who isn’t afraid to tell my parents exactly what I think.

I don’t like lying. It agitates me, and I can’t comfortably live with a lie I made anyway. I’d rather be blunt and say what I genuinely think.

That being said, I don’t see myself as a particularly good person. I have flaws too. I’ve made mistakes I’m not proud of, especially during my younger, more naive years. But I’m not shameless enough to avoid taking responsibility for them.

I digress. 😮‍💨

As the months and years passed after the redesign, I noticed myself typing longer and longer paragraphs. The words just came out naturally. I also realized what made me hold back in the first place: I’m a bit anal-retentive when it comes to my blog. I wanted every post to feel polished, carefully selected, scheduled, and aesthetically pleasing.

But you know what I actually wanted all along?

A space for my thoughts. That’s it!

In fact, my drafts vault is overflowing with topics that have never seen the light of day simply because I kept trying to beautify every single blog post.

Now?

Fuck it.

I’ll just post them one by one.

I’ll post more, even if they’re nothing but walls of text. I’m fighting against the trend. You want short videos and constant sensory overload? Well, tough luck, I’m going to post text! Long paragraphs of it! Consider this my tiny act of resistance against the modern internet landscape.

So yeah, my new design will highlight me more—my thoughts more!

For the longest time, I prefaced my blog’s identity around its design, graphics, the reviews, carefully made blog banners, and sad attempt flatlays. But not anymore!

The wall of text is going to be the muse of this space.

I won’t keep cramming my thoughts into a tl;dr format anymore. Thankfully, the current design can actually accommodate my fickleness, even though it was originally built for the exact opposite. Turns out it’s much more flexible than I gave it credit for.

People always say, “nobody reads blogs anymore.” Well, nobody likes to read, period. (but that’s another post I’ve already written and I’ll publish that one soon.)

But this is me.

This is the habit I grew up with: writing my thoughts and finding happiness in doing so. There’s something incredibly satisfying about untangling the words that have been stuck in my head and finally seeing them on a page, even if I’m the only one who ever reads them.

The catharsis of writing essays and blog posts is simply unmatched.

This is my own little act of resistance, too.

I like to write.

Lots of it.

And I’m not letting the internet convince me otherwise.