I saw this reel that I would’ve loved to reference it, but sadly I lost it. The guy said that men who exclusively read self-help books are the equivalent of women who exclusively read smut books.

*shakes head*

Yes, I know the operative word here is “exclusively,” but I just want to generally defend the genre of smut from those who think it’s just soft p/rn. It’s so easy to misunderstand this genre, and sadly, I think part of that comes from misogyny, and that the idea that anything predominantly enjoyed by women must be superficial or worthless. I don’t wanna rant about this in-depth, but it really shows women’s struggle where our interests and preferences have rarely been taken seriously.

Anyways, I’ve read a lot of smut series, novels, and graphic novels. I don’t watch p/rn because a lot of it is heavily made for the male gaze. I remember seeing a statistic from a certain adult website that showed women who do watch it tend to gravitate toward content with an actual plot (which is kinda like looking for a needle in a haystack, like seriously); but that just further demonstrates the stark differences in how men and women consume media with se×ual content.

As a woman, I value a lot more than just the act itself. While the se×ual tension is obviously part of the appeal (ain’t gonna lie), I’m still more interested in the inner workings of the characters and their relationship: their emotions, the anticipation, the chemistry, the excitement written in beautiful prose, and the magical feeling that comes with it, even when it’s completely unrealistic. That’s far more interesting to me than just reading it for the sake of it.

I have tried reading adult graphic novels that are primarily written for men, and let’s just say I didn’t enjoy them. They felt highly repetitive, often polygamous in nature, with male leads who had no particularly strong defining traits beyond being the main character (more often than not, they were portrayed as washout that miraculously seduced all the girls???) and of course, there was often little to no plot to speak of. At least the smut I tried isn’t just straight-up explicit content; even straightforward er/otica still tends to offer something beyond just a series of sexual fantasies.

There are smut series that are genuinely well written and just so happen to contain se×ual content. Smut doesn’t automatically mean they have no literary merit just because there are se× scenes. I’m not saying every smut series is some undercover literary masterpiece. Some are purely for fun or meant to stir a bit of arousal. And ok, some are admittedly just, well, bad. But there are definitely gems!! And they usually have more to offer than simply trying to turn you on.

What I love about fiction in general is that it’s a safe space to explore so many different things. In this case, se× in fiction and fantasy is a great avenue for that. It’s a safe space to explore se/xua/lity without judgment or harm. Of course, I’m talking about adults consuming fiction. I assume you have enough critical thinking skills to separate fantasy from reality because otherwise, you have a much bigger problem than reading smut.

Many female fantasies (even se×ual in nature) can be explored through these stories which is exactly why smut written by women for women is so different from what many men assume it is. The act itself isn’t what solely interests us the most—or at least personally speaking. For me, it’s the entire dynamic of the relationship—how it develops, how the characters interact, how the emotional connection grows, the afterglow. That’s what shapes the experience far more than the explicit scenes themselves.

I enjoy wholesome stories just as much as I enjoy smut series. I’m actually not the biggest fan of pure er/oti/ca. I usually prefer clean romance, fantasy with a stronger plot, sometimes something cliché, and occasionally smut. At the end of the day, it’s all fiction. Even when it gets completely wild, it’s still a safe place to explore fantasies that would otherwise be frowned upon.

That being said, men shouldn’t look at what women read and assume that’s what we want in real life. Like I said earlier, you need to have enough critical thinking skills to separate fiction from reality, and I’d argue that’s one of the most important requirements for engaging deeply with fiction in the first place.

So yeah, I rest my case.

(Sorry for obfuscating the words, I just don’t want to invite unnecessary bots/spam to my blog by mentioning it directly.)