I have this not really unfounded worry about how the words I’ve written here in my blog would not be mine in the future. The way technology evolves and scrapes information as fast as it could, that my words are morphing into a commodity, and then feeding into human consciousness as it craves to be smarter and more, I guess, human?

I’m not against AI. I do think there’s a part of society that it belongs (generative AI, however, is a different can of worms). I just don’t like how they portrayed AI as if it’s inevitable. I most certainly don’t like that it needs to thrive at our expense. That a lot should be sacrificed just for it to continue to evolve. And the development has become detrimental not only to us but in many aspects of our lives: from our creativity to our environment. I detest the messaging that we need to sacrifice so this technology can further grow. Why is it us, then? Who is this being created and advancing for if it weren’t for us? Why did it reach a point that it’s as if our basic needs now impedes its progress? There’s something glaringly wrong and harmful with this messaging (but then again they’re billionaires, what do they know about being humane).

So, back to my worry: I’ve been blogging for almost 2 decades, same space, same style of word vomit. And despite the glaring grammar mistakes, the uncontrollable yapping, and just random whimsical thoughts about my passion in fiction, I am proud of the words I chucked out. But I’m scared that this won’t be mine forever. That someone will generate the same thought in my exact same style and voice, and I couldn’t say anything about it.

I don’t like how people now are being so overly conscious of how they speak or write just to prove authenticity. So many people are against using “big” words to avoid being accused of using AI to write. Or just plain proper grammar. And I hate it. I hate it with passion! As an ESL speaker, I love learning new words—big words, not so common words! And I love to use them in writing/speaking. Adding new vocabulary is always fun, it’s a proof that I’m learning. It makes me proud; and learning, like change, as I said before, is an endless pursuit in life. We should always desire to learn, and that’s just why I love being curious and learning.

But now it worries me because there’s evidence that a portion of the internet is less authentic and manufactured. I grew up in the early internet, where the vast majority of websites were created by hobbyists—real human, fueled by passion and free time, myself included. I love doing creative things for the internet, and I used to love joining community sharing the same passion. But as of today, all I can see is just ragebait, asinine takes, and clout, because we’re now programmed to view online content as something to be monetized. And not to be a hypocrite, money is good and all, but sadly, we’re losing that passion and honesty of the internet when I was growing up.

I still believe AI will only ever evolved if humans are around. So if we stop creating, then what happens next? How do we evolve if we continue to just rely on this and think less? Our curiosity is barely getting stimulated because of the intense burst of dopamine chain circulating through our phones, our computers—our minds. We are being prepared to only consume. We barely create now, and even if we create, it’s prompted, copied, or generated? And it’s a sad space to be in as tech peaks, because less genuine creativity is being fostered.

Back to my worries, I know that my content is not mind-blowing or unique, often just word vomit on a topic or thought plaguing my mind at that moment. But at least I know they came from me. I also use tech tools like grammar checker to help me, but I can proudly say that these are my own words, my thoughts, my sincere opinion. This is something I will always be proud of, but again, the apprehension that my words will become just a food to humanizing technology is always there. And like I said it’s not entirely groundless.