It was awesome that Party For One by Carly Rae Jepsen came out conveniently when I was wracking my brain trying to find the right title for this post. And you know, if you’re a regular here, that I tend to name my posts after songs (because I’m lazy and uncreative like that, LOL). But enough chit-chat—the post is, yes, about solitude and why I’ve grown to love my alone time now. Of course, there are still many things I can’t do on my own (traveling overseas by myself is something I still don’t have the courage to pull off), but at least I’ve found myself enjoying my “me time” outside of home.

I’m not sure about you guys, but back when I was younger—in elementary school, high school, or even college—I always had to ask a friend to accompany me to the bathroom. Maybe this is just unspoken girl code, but going to the bathroom? You need your gal pal! Or if the teacher asked you to do something, you needed a classmate with you. You just had to go with a friend. Eating alone? Embarrassing. Alone time was scary back then. I didn’t like being by myself; I always needed at least one friend with me.

But after graduating and entering the workforce, I had to do everything on my own. My college buddies were following their own career paths, and we couldn’t be together like before. I was at a crossroads where I couldn’t ask anyone to accompany me. I had to do it—just me. For a while, I felt uncomfortable eating lunch by myself because I was new and didn’t know anyone yet. It dragged my already small amount of confidence further down. But after changing jobs multiple times and going through that cycle over and over, I got used to being alone. I stopped worrying about what people might be thinking of me. Because the truth is, people rarely care about what you’re doing. Worrying about looking like a loner really didn’t matter. They rarely care. Like me, they’re also thinking about themselves, minding their own issues. In reality, I’m just a fleeting moment in their day (if they even notice me at all). And that’s true for me too—maybe something embarrassing happens to the guy at the next table, but I’ll only think about it for a moment, and then—poof—out of sight, out of mind.

Now, every now and then, I go out by myself. I dine alone, sometimes read alone, and I even attended a concert by myself. Even at home, I enjoy my own company. I find hobbies and activities I can do alone truly invigorating, and I’ve learned to love the time I spend with myself. “Me time” is the best. It’s peaceful, it’s relaxing, it’s everything an introverted person like me craves. I’m not shutting people out, but I’ve just grown comfortable being alone.